Maybe Next Time

I didn’t want you to be just another lesson.
I thought I’d learned enough for this time to be the last time.

In the beginning, I was excited to know you,
And in time, I became scared to lose you.
“Even if you’re just a future memory,” you’d said,
And that’s exactly what became of us.

Lord Huron said it right.
I really did have all and then most of you,
Some and now none of you.

I’m struggling to get over you because
What happened in Bali had to amount to something special right?
At least that’s what I tell myself.

I knew you’d gone through a lot in life,
And I took your comments personally anyway.

I miss the feeling of your arms around me,
The way your lips found a home in mine.

I know one day the pain will stop, and you will become a distant memory,
But for now, it still hurts like hell.
I think about you every morning,
And most nights before I fall asleep.

I don’t know how we became strangers,
But some part of me wishes you were still here by my side.

I’d never known a connection like this,
You’d said the same.
I was naive to your promises of a future,
Captivated by the allure of an imaginary you.

Maybe my standards in love were too high,
And I never really took the time to get to know you.
All of you.
For that, I am truly sorry.

Regret isn’t a feeling I’m well accustomed to, and
I hope I don’t have to taste loss like this again.

I will always be proud of myself for daring to try,
And I will continue to do so until the day I learn to fly.

Maybe next time will be the final time.
For now, I will write until I have nothing left to say.

You should have been a part of this photo.