One For Me

Sometimes it’s not about the length of a relationship that dictates the amount of time you need to grieve the loss of it. This one was profound. It tugged at your heartstrings and made promises of a beautiful future that was violently pulled away without remorse. You sensed he was intense and a little broken, but he was never yours to save. And so you destroyed yourself in the process of trying to learn how to treat his wounds.

The depth of the connection was undeniable but when he showed you his true colours, you chose to stay in the past; the happier period where you both dreamt of forever together. No relationship can thrive in an environment of uncertainty for too long and you knew you deserved more. You needed more than the fragments he was offering.

When someone’s actions don’t match up with their words, you need to ask yourself why. When they show you exactly who they are, you need to believe what you see. Each part of this story shows the many facets of the same person, and none can be viewed in isolation. You may have thought he was your person, but real love doesn’t come with conditions. Love doesn’t provoke anxiety. Most of all, love should feel safe, nourishing and warm.

I know this experience has tarnished your sense of self and in the aftermath, you’re feeling a little lost. But I promise it will heal with time. You are still the person you’ve worked hard to become, so don’t ever forget that. Be proud. Please be kind to yourself and know that there will come a time when you feel this strongly for another again. Keep working on yourself and know that you are enough. You are worthy, lovable, fucking incredible.

He will always remain a core memory of a whirlwind romance that was. That can never be taken away from you, and one day you’ll look back at it all with gratitude. For all the lessons you learned, for reviving the feelings you thought you’d never feel again, for showing you exactly what it is you want in a partner. You won’t settle for anything less in the future.

You were right to walk away, and the pain you feel now only means that you truly cared. That’s a beautiful thing. Stay positive, for this is a storm you don’t have to weather alone. You have the support of your friends and family to cushion whatever hardships come your way in this lifetime. You are whole exactly as you are, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Remember, healing is never linear. Progress comes in the form of taking small steps towards your own happiness.

So take it one day at a time, and eventually you’ll wake up and the heartbreak will be replaced with calm. You’ll be ready to conquer the world again with eyes filled with wonder.