These Are My

Amidst the highs and lows of life, the chaotic effects of the pandemic and the value placed on individualism within Australia, it can be easy to think only of yourself. I often overlook the hardship that my parents went through when they applied for permanent residency here so that their kids could have better opportunities growing up. I realise that despite my best intentions, I can be selfish and egotistical at times, particularly towards my mum who has only ever wanted what’s best for me. And it is only after bathing in the stillness of self-reflection that I see the error of my ways.

I’ve taken for granted the home that they’ve provided me, all of the wisdom they’ve imparted to help me succeed and most of all, their generosity. Sometimes you need to remind yourself of the sacrifices they made so that you could be where you are today. You need to remember your roots so that you don’t lose sight of what’s truly important. I hope this post will serve as a reminder to anyone who has fallen into the trap of unwarranted expectation, myself included.

Mum and dad built their life here brick by brick, collecting lost coins from the pavement as if it were valuable treasure and working laboriously in dead-end jobs just to provide for the five of us. They’ve tasted the earth all so that we could stand tall on their backs and breathe the fresh air. Mum says, “I know you must think poorly of my basic English after all these years” to which I respond, “no mum, I’m proud of you.”

We often forget that many first-generation immigrants (prior to the globalised world we know today) relocated out of necessity, and generally into Western nations where there was likely a language barrier. This meant leaving your career and reputation behind in your hometown, as it didn’t matter how successful you were in Taiwan if you couldn’t talk business in English. I don’t know if I would have been able to make that kind of commitment so I can only sit here in immense awe contemplating their bravery. That kind of courage will take you places.

It’s hard to be a good person sometimes…I mean how does one even begin to define such a characteristic? Perhaps it’s the ability to confront all the ugly parts of yourself, the ones that you don’t want to admit to. Perhaps it’s taking the time to always remind your loved ones how much you care about and appreciate them. Perhaps it’s having the courage to admit you were wrong and acknowledging the things that most frighten you. Or maybe ‘good’ just means being pure of heart and wanting the best for everyone.

I haven’t found a definitive answer for this one yet but I will always be selfless when it comes to people I care about. We shouldn’t blindly subscribe to cultural norms or feel the need to conform to all these societal expectations. You get one life so you should spend it doing whatever it is that makes you truly happy. Go chase those dreams, no matter how ridiculous they may seem. What is real is you and your connections, your wins, your orgasms, your hopes, your fears. I am not extraordinary, but I want to live an extraordinary life so that one day when I’m old, I can be proud of all the things I dared to try.